Get out of the way of the upperclassmen during passing periods; don’t crowd in the cafeteria during lunch; make sure to bring enough gum for the senior that sits next to you in calculus; but I never chew gum; well that’s all the better—just give it all to the senior then; make sure you do your history homework two days before it’s due so the senior can copy your homework before the due date; be sure to take notes very neatly in biology so the seniors in that class can copy your notes after their long nap in class; be sure to have your phone on during all twenty-four hours of the day in case a senior calls you for help on homework an hour before it’s due; don’t ever say “no” to a senior asking for help; don’t ever complain about any senior; speak only words of praise about a senior; this is how you smile to senior boys; this is how you smile to senior girls; this is how you open the door for senior girls; this is how you open the door for senior boys; this is the type of coffee you get for the seniors in your first period class; this is the type of energy bar you give to the seniors in your fourth period class when they are hungry and want the class to end so they can go to McDonald’s; this is how you help a senior cheat during an important test; this is how you help a senior cheat during an unimportant test; but cheating is not allowed!; you mean to say that after all you are really going to be the type of freshmen that all seniors hate?
this was a fun read. :) i was trying to uncover the kernel of truth hidden in here for you, but i can't seem to find it... so congratulations, fiction has won again.
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